Friday, November 28, 2003
more people need to be like Kensington. If they make you feel like a total fuck-up, then they need to take you out to Denny's for some coffee, and then have a really amazing converstaion to make you feel better...and then advice in love should be exchanged, someone should cry, then all should be well. that having been said, im out of here.
Love ya Kensington
Some New Tsuris
10:41 AM
Thursday, November 27, 2003
why am i an idiot? oh, right, because i assume too much. I assume that its ok to talk about certain things because i assume thats what people who trust one another do. I assume that friends are supposed to take it easy on each other if they do something really stupid and fuck up in a small way. I assume that i'm not a complete moron and that all things can be discussed between good friends without fear of a total bitchfest. perhaps im wrong....ya think?
>DISCLAIMER<
this is not a verbal assault on anyone...except for myself. I am a total fuck up sometimes and I have been known to say do certain things that people are really upset of offended by. anyone who knows me knows im really hard on myself when i screw up. if this is addressed to you, i love you so much and i didn't mean to upset you...im serious...you rock my socks...im just a fuckhead sometimes
Some New Tsuris
8:10 PM
>::::: I ALMOST FORGOT!!!!:::::<
Jeni Ahfeld looks ABSOLUTLY ADORABLE with her new haircut
that having been said...im going now
Some New Tsuris
11:30 AM
this is the "morning-after" blog. NO, I didn't do anythind bad last night...besides..im a guy...that would just be weird...aaaaaaaaaanyway.
so yeah, yesterday = more fun than i've had in a long long time. almost toooo much fun.
Jeni Ahfeld and Max came over, and we went to the mall to get Jeni's haircut and such. Kensington and Rachael met us at the mall, so that was a lot of fun. Then after the mall we came back here and chilled in my room and watched Clerks on my computer...That's right folks, I had 3 attractive young ladies ON MY BED..WHOOO...sorry. so while we're Jeni, Rachael and I are watching Clerks, Kensington is in the bathroom with Max...dying his hair (what were you thinking you sick bastard?). That is correct, Max dyed his hair black...unfortunately, Kensington thought it would be a good idea to dye his eyebrows and sideburns black too....which would make sense, except the directions on the box said "DO NOT USE ON EYEBROWS OR SIDEBURNS". We soon figured out why....that shit stains the skin if you aren't careful. It looks like someone colored in his eyebrows and sideburns with a sharpie marker...it...is...HILARIOUS. but anywho, moving on with the story...after that whole incident, Jeni and Rachael left and Max, Kensington and I made the long trek over to Max's house (across the street) and hung out over there. Max broke out his guitar, I broke out the ol' vocal chords and we did some songs. Kensington apparently thoroughly enjoyed it, for she had us do it again later in the evening...but im getting to that. well she had to go home for a little bit to help her mom make some stuff for Thanksgiving. So Max and I were like, "hey give Cara a call, we should all hang out..." and so Kensington called her and there was a big debate over whether i was going to pick her up or she was going to drive over....in the end she ended up driving over...anywho...
so Max and I had some time to kill, so we went and got some dinner, then we rented X2 and Wrong Turn. So we get back to my place, and the girls still aren't here...then they both call me and ask for directions since they are directionally inept. Cara arrives soon after, Kensington calls and tells me she's made it all the way almost to Newburgh...so i have to give her directions from there. a while later she gets here...so we sojourned back over to Max's house and watched X2...great movie...well after the movie, we didn't wanna start Wrong Turn because Cara had to leave in like 45 minutes...so Kensington was like "why dont you sing Room To Breathe!!"...being the affection whore that i am, we did, and it rocked some socks...well then Cara had to leave so we walked her to her car and said our farewells. then we went back and watched Wrong Turn....one of the STUPIDEST movies I have ever seen. but im not going to get in to that.
so yes, a wonderful evening....certain feelings have been confirmed...other have disapated...i am in a good mood...i feel good about things in my life right now...yay for that. though im confused my something too, but i will have that figured out in a while....ok well i gotta start getting ready to go to my aunt's house so i can stuff myself until i can't possibly eat anything else.....yay for Thanksgiving!
Some New Tsuris
11:25 AM
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
I stole this from Cara's blog...have at it if you are so inclined to purloin it from me...
I AM: a sexy love-beast
I THINK: Therefore I am
I KNOW: a little bit about everything
I WANT: this semester to be over
I HAVE: issues
I WISH: I could just look at people and make their heads explode
I HATE: my English class
I FEAR: being alone the rest of my life
I HEAR: it, I hear it, I hear it my song! (if you understand the reference, you get a point)
I MISS: having someone to cuddle with (im such a romantic schmuck)
I WONDER: what happened to the Oneders? (That was too good Cara, I can't change it)
I REGRET: nothing...everything is done for a reason
I LOVE: the little thing that make my day better
I ALWAYS: get bent out of shape about stuff
I AM NOT: gay...contrary to popular belief
I DANCE: the Macarena
I SING: all the f*ckin' time...usually show tunes...
I CRY: rarely
I DO NOT ALWAYS: do the right thing
I FIGHT: like a girl
I WRITE: like a pro
I WIN: the blue ribbon of life...the Stanley Cup of Coolness
I LOSE: my mind on a daily basis
I CONFUSE: love with admiration
I LISTEN: to people who want my help
I CAN BE USUALLY FOUND: unless i'm hiding...i'm very very sneaky....
I NEED: a life...mental help.....a woman....
I AM HAPPY ABOUT: the fact that the semester is almost over
I SHOULD: stop worrying so much
[You]
[Jewelry Worn Daily]: I dont wear jewelry
[Pillow]: I have 3...i have back problems when i sleep
[Shoes]: my black and white Adidas...i need a new pair of boots
[Favorite top]: my hoodie
[Favorite bottoms]: depends on what top im wearing....i only have jeans and khakis...
[Cologne/Perfume]: Eternity and Axe body spray
[CD in stereo right now]: Maroon 5's Songs About Jane (melts my heart)
[Piercings]: i wanna get my cartilidge pierced, but im still deciding
[Hair]: short brown...kinda shaggy
[Wish]: You Were Here by Pink Floyd is AWSOME
[After this]: either bed, or if someone i wanna talk to gets online, i'll talk to them.
[Talking to]: no one right now
[Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]: end of the semester (if you didn't know)
[Some of your favorite movies]: anything Kevin Smith, Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, Empire Records, Super Troopers
[Something that you are deathly afraid of]: being alone
[Do you believe in love]: of course
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: I believe that one can be smitten by someone at first sight, however there must be a period of time before love actually sets in...
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: there are a few things that are unforgivable, but generally, yeah
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: a llama...or an emu...
[What are 3 cities you would like to be relocated to?]: New York City, Milan, Dublin...
[What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]: Salt & Vinegar Pringles or popcorn
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: love
[In the last 24 hours, have you…]
01. Cried: i dont cry very often....
02. Bought something: a pizza from Fazoli's
03. Gotten sick: nope
04. Sang: Yes.
05. Eaten: Yes.
06. Been kissed: unfortunately
07. Felt stupid: when DON'T I feel stupid?
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: I try to do that as much as possible
09. Met someone new: umm...not that i can think of...
10. Moved on: what a vague question....
11. Talked to someone you have a crush on: yeah
12. Had a serious talk: nope
13. Missed someone: of course
14. Hugged someone: Yep.
15. Fought with your parent: surprisingly no
16. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: not that i can remember
[Who]
01. Have you known the longest: probably Craig....hung out with that dude when i was in like 6th grade..
02. Do you argue with the most with: probably Max...but its fun
03. Do you always get along with: i dont always get along with anyone...but most of the time i get alone with most people
04. Is the trust worthiest: probably Jeni and Max
05. Makes you laugh the most: Kensington and Jeni
07. Has the coolest parents: i dont know...
08. Have the coolest siblings: Max's bro is pretty cool...
09. Is the smartest: probably Max
10. Which friend do you think is your soul mate (friend way): Jeni
[Personal]
01. Who is your role model: Billy Joel and Kevin Smith
02. What are some of your pet peeves: people who ask for my opinion, then argue with me about it....and people who sugar-coat everything
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: damn you, you filthy brigand...bringing up bad memories...
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: yup...women f*ck me up emotionally
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: people who are just a little different...and have a lot of integrity
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): Its possible
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: im awful about that...i don't act on it usually
08. Rather be dumper or dumped: Dumper
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": Relationship...im too emotional for a one night stand
10. Want someone you don't have right now: yeah, thats usually how it works...
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: yuuuup....its not fun...
12. Do you want to get married: yep
13. Do you want kids: of course
14. Do you believe in psychics: not so much...
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: ha...i dont even know what im going to wear tomorrow....
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: my smile, and my sideburns (damn i got some killer chops)...
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: i can read people very well....and im a very caring person...
18. Are you happy with you: i could do better....i could do worse...
19. Are you happy with your life: people are generally happy with life, because if they weren't, they'd just kill themselves...
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: forget regret, or life is yours to miss....i wouldn't change a damn thing..
Some New Tsuris
12:11 AM
Sunday, November 23, 2003
so i've been thinking about stuff....and that is never good. I'm depressed now...why do i do this to myself? ugh....im a severe emtional case...
Some New Tsuris
10:47 PM
oh what a weekend....late December back in '63? wait...nevermind
so Fri. Cara and I met up at Barnes (also ran in to Lisa and Erin...good to see them again), and then we went to J.C. Penny's to get her dress for the winter formal. after that, we came back to my crib and watched Cabaret, went and got some Taco Bell, then came back and watched Mallrats. Cabaret was really good....I didn't know how I felt about it at first, but after thinking it over for a day or so, I've decided that I really liked it. So Fri. was a lot of fun, would definately like to do that again.
Sat., I had to be at work at 8am for an associate meeting, then had to actually work at 11....so after the meeting got out at like 9:30, Nick and I went to McDonald's to get some breakfast, and thus reaffirmed why I dont eat at McDonald's. Then, finally, the miracle happened....I LEARNED HOW TO MAKE PASTA! ok just a little background information and this will make sense. I work at Fazoli's..I have worked there for going on 2 years. In those 2 years, I was never taught how to make pasta. It is a basic task in that restaurant, and I never knew how to do it. I learned yesterday...and it sucks. oh well. It was a really fun day, because we were really really dead, and Brandon was the only on duty manager. So we goofed off all day. Then Jeni Ahfeld came in and visited me and it made me very very very very happy. So i get home, and I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing that night...I was going to go hang out with Rakestraw, Ben and Jaymes and them, but like Max IMed me and told me that Julie wanted us all to go out and do something, so I opted to do that instead. I didn't realize how much I really missed Julie until she was actually here. She's just great. So we rented 28 Days Later (which rocked some socks).
Today, I got up and went to church, then out to eat with the friends and fam, and I work tonight.
>:::::Totally random rant ahead::::::<
I can't figure it out. Am I a hopeless romantic?? Or am I just a schmuck?? Like I seriously fall in love like every other day. Its awful. Like there are 2 or 3 people who like if i could have a romantic relationship with them, I would be soooo happy. And I can't tell if ANY of them are even interested in anything like that. Its really quite bothersome. I guess if I really want to know, I should just ask, but I don't want to come across overbearing or impatient or anything like that. Also, I don't really want to risk losing a friendship if awkwardness ensues. There are 2 ladies in particular, if I could have a relationship with either one, I would be so happy. Maybe its just some innate animalistic instinct kicking in, I dunno. I don't know what to do anymore. ugh
anyway, that having been said, I have to start getting ready for work. I'll probably post again when I get home
Some New Tsuris
3:11 PM
Thursday, November 20, 2003
ok so i am going to renig on my previous statement about God messing with me....he's looking out for me now
i get to English this morning, sans Working Bibliography, and im expecting the worst. So we get all seated at the computers in the lab and he gets up to make his announcements for the morning. "The Internet in the lab is down today, so im going to let you all out in a few minutes...you can turn in your bibliographies on your way out." so im thinking, ok...at least i dont actually have to like talk to him about it. Then, like music to my ears, he goes "if you were expecting to email it to yourself and print it out today, you can email it to me by tomorrow for full credit"
>cue the falsetto choir of seraphim<
my ass was SAVED...yay for small miracles.
I went and saw Carmen at the Vicory tonight...it was INCREDIBLE!! I want to sing opera.
ok so i've been listening to the new Barenaked Ladies CD a bit more, and there is one song that just rocks my socks. Its called War on Drugs...here are the lyrics
She likes to sleep with the radio on
So she can dream of her favorite song
The one that no one has ever sung since she was small
She'll never know that she made it up
She had a soul and we ate it up
Thrown away like a paper cup
The music falls
The only flaw in her detailed plan
Is where she wins back the love of her man
Everyone knows that he's never coming back
He took her heart and she took his name
He couldn't stand taking all the blame
He left her only with guilt and shame and then she cracked
Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves
Of all these demons haunting us
To keep us company
In the dream I refuse to have
She falls asleep in a lukewarm bath
We're left to deal with the aftermath again
On behalf of humanity
I will fight for your sanity
How profound such profanity can be
Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves
Of all these demons haunting us
To keep us company
Won't it be odd to be happy like we
Always thought we're supposed to feel
But never seem to be
Near where I live there's a viaduct
Where people jump when they're out of luck
Raining down on the cars and trucks below
They've put a net there to catch their fall
Like it'll stop anyone at all
What they don't know is when nature calls, you go
They say that Jesus and mental health
Are just for those who can help themselves
But what good is that when you live in hell on earth?
From the very fear that makes you want to die
Is just the same as what keeps you alive
It's way more trouble than some suicide is worth
Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves
Of all these demons haunting us
To keep us company
Won't it be odd to be happy like we
Always thought we're supposed to feel
But never seem to be
Hard to admit I fought the war on drugs
My hands were tied and the phone was bugged
Another died and the world just shrugged it off
wow....such amazing expression...i hope that i one day will be able to express myself like that...ok i may post later...probably not...im out
Some New Tsuris
11:56 PM
One last thing....I took this quiz, which I got from Jeni's Blog....this is me in a nutshell, though i dont understand the career choices...kinda random to me...oh well...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Which Career is Right for You?
You need a career that gives you the opportunity to meet and be energized by new people and new situations. You would be happiest in a career that allows you to be free, flexible and creative. A few careers that suit your personality are:
Stockbroker
Secretary
Receptionist
Director
Recruitment Consultant
Politician
Marketing
Human Resources Manager
Religious Minister
Teacher
Lawyer
Advertising
Consultant
Financial Adviser
Financial Planner
General Practitioner
Physical Therapy
Occupational Therapy
Public Relations
Estate Agent
Travel Agent
Restauranteur
Hotel Manager
Events Organizer
You are a great leader. You genuinely enjoy being around other people. Your relationships with others are very important to you. You love talking and meeting new people. You are very enthusiastic about work and about all that you do and have in your life. You love being the focus of attention. You enjoy a fast pace. You are very socially oriented. Therefore, you are much happier being with others than you are alone. You crave interaction with others.
You are very spontaneous and often act before you think. You are always quick to answer when you are asked a question, even if you aren't sure of the answer. It is easier for you to improvise as you go along. You enjoy thinking out loud, and are most creative when brainstorming with friends or colleagues. You enjoy being involved in many activities.
You are very easy to read, and often wear your heart on your sleeve. You are never afraid to tell people what you think. You are very empathetic and genuine. You can sometimes be seen as over-emotional or too involved by others. But that is only because you tend to get so involved in the things you do that they become personal. You want to be adored, loved and appreciated. You like to please others and to make sure people are happy.
You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyze things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colorful in your choice of language.
You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.
Some New Tsuris
2:18 AM
why can i never sleep? is God mad at me? or is he just bored and he wants to see how long it will take for me to lose my mind. If that's the case, then its sooo cruel, because he knows how long it will take, HE'S GOD for his sake!. ugh...quarter 'til 2 is an ugly time. gotta get up for class in, or 6 hours....i guess its not tooooo bad, but still, i would like to have gone to sleep an hour or so ago...
so yes, my English class is stupid. I HATE RESEARCH PAPERS!!!! like normal papers im totally cool with... but research papers suck ass. like they are way too structured, and everything has to be done JUST RIGHT in order for you to not commit some kind of crime...plagiarism, libel, jaywalking....i mean damn, is it really worth all this?? so i have my working bibliography due tomorrow, or today rather, and like i dont have all my sources. He'll let me turn it in late, but its the priciple of it. Does he not realize that i have OTHER CLASSES TOO!?!?!?!?! I mean I have research paper due in History next week, but that wont be bad...its only a 5-pager with no minimum number of sources....i can bullshit that paper.
so like things are looking up still. have a nice little weekend lined up. Cara and I are gonna hit up Barnes then back to my house for a night of movies...always fun. Then i work Sat. morning, and i'm probably just gonna hang out around the house on Sat. night...and then i work Sun., so its all good. I find myself wanting to be less social. People just bother me. Like not all people of course, but a vast majority of them do. Like if i talk to you for more than 30 minutes a day, i like you..you're awsome in my book. If i dont, then either you're awsome and I never get a chance to talk to you for very long, or you suck. right now, many people are on my suck-list by default....they are people....they haven't rocked my socks...hence they suck...enough said
so im kinda happy, because Chad, this dude i HATE at work, is on the verge of getting fired....and if not fired then totally rheemed. I can't stand him....he's so mean to everyone. Oh well, he's probably just mad because he's like 27 and still lives with his parents and his only friends are highschoolers. 'tis a sad state of affairs for a very sad person.
speaking of sad people, why is everyone so glum here lately. I mean a lot of people i talk to have been really down. it makes me sad, adding one more person to the list of sad people. like if they're not sad, then they dont feel well, which is just as bad a being sad. I'm sure most of them have reasons, but still....it makes for a forlorn mood (told ya i liked that word).
I can't wait for Jeni to come back to E-ville...i miss her so much. like i haven't been friends with her for too long (just a little over a year), but she is hardcore rock my socks off. like my socks tremble at the sound of her name. like i look forward to talking to her everynight because she always says something that just inspires me. it makes me wanna go on to the next day. she is so strong, yet delicate...an odd combination indeed. but thats what makes her unique, and her uniqueness is why i LOVE her.
I also love talking to Cara and Kensington like every night. They are both just incredible people, as i have mentioned in previous posts. Cara is just so smart and funny and sweet and cute and everything anyone could ask for in another person. Kensington is another one of those amazingly strong, but beautifully delicate people. like when she's sad, it hurts my heart. when she's giddy, i want to smack her...just kidding...i love ya babe, you and Cara definately rock my socks.
Have you ever thought about what would happen, had you not met someone?? Jeni and I talked about this, and we've come to the conclusion that when you meet someone, its NOT just a coincidence...its destiny. Of course, we've also decided that Wyoming doesn't exist and is actually a government bunker, and Nebraska is a failed science experiment, which is why no one lives there.
ok well im finally getting sleepy, so its off to bed I go....but, i leave you with a poem i wrote tonight...:
"If you love something, set it free
If it comes back, its yours to keep"...
yeah, that or it has severe dependancy issues,
which is generally the case....
Night everyone....Love ya Kensi, Cara, Jeni, Erin and all you other people who rock my socks...
Some New Tsuris
2:04 AM
Monday, November 17, 2003
I love seeing my name in other people's blogs....i guess its the attention whore in me. Usually it means i've either helped someone through something, or I made someone laugh, or did something that made them think of me. I like being thought of....im sure im not the only one though. If it weren't obvious, I have a lot of self-esteem and self-adequacy issues. So when people talk about how "Burgdorf did this and it made me laugh" or "Burgdorf is great because he did this..." like it makes me happy...yay for that...yay for me....or not...
Some New Tsuris
10:18 PM
yeah...totally in a fucked up mood today...
I had a totally fucked up dream last night...it was about Armageddon. No, not "Ben Affleck trying to get all erotic with animal shaped cookies" Armageddon...like end of the world Armageddon. The Apocalypse, Judgement Day..all of which are part of movie titles...odd. anywho, i'm really worried about some of my friends...people seem really down here lately, myself included. I'm sure there are things that have gone on behind closed doors that i don't know about, and that are really none of my business, but im still concerned nonetheless. I guess its my worrying nature. anywho, yeah like i've been kinda depressed all day. I have nothing about which to be depressed. Things seem to be going reallly well for me. Some avenues of my life are still quite vague..
I love and hate Dan at the same time...he's totally awsome, but he puts these little kernals in my head, and as i ponder upon them, they grow and totally fuck my head up. like today at Madrigal practice, he was like "you should stay at USI and do musical theater..." i was like "eh...naw i'm gonna stick with music and go elsewhere..." ....and then i started thinking about it...now like the more i think about it, the more it makes sense to me. AHHH!! He's done this before...he insists that i should date a certain someone...fortunately, i've thought about it and i haven't budged on the issue. so his Jedi mind trick isn't fool-proof...just very irritating. No, i realize that he's looking out for me and he means only the best. Thats why Daniel Craig is awsome. ok well im gonna get out of here...
if you are reading this and you are going through issues right now, i'm keepin' ya in my thoughts...if any of you need anything, I'm here to listen. Love all of you
Some New Tsuris
9:44 PM
Sunday, November 16, 2003
Shakespeare
---------------------
Shakespeare once said
"Love is a many splendored thing"
Ha! A funny guy that Shakespeare was...
Some New Tsuris
12:52 PM
Friday, November 14, 2003
hey all
good day, but I'm kinda down...not down...forlorn....melancholy...i like those words....they envoke a certain brooding darkness dont they? here's an idea of why im down...i wrote this tonight
Broken
I know you're broken
And not just your heart
You feel like nothing works
That life has delt you a shitty hand
You feel alone and you think no one cares
You think you're damaged goods
A dented can in the bargain bin
People pick you up
Think about it
Then drop you because you aren't worth the risk
ButI want to fix you
I want to pick up the broken pieces
and glue them back together
with my love
I want the risk
But you wont let me fix you...
that all i got for now....but its only 7:30, so i imagine i'll post again later (I always say that and i never do....hmm...)
Some New Tsuris
7:36 PM
Thursday, November 13, 2003
ha...ok i have had one of the funniest worst days ever. like so much bad stuff happened to me, but most of it was really funny.
so i woke up this morning, and i look at my alarm clock at it says 11am....and im like "SHIT!!' because i have to be at work at 11am. however, i get up and look at my computer and it says 10am....so all is well, except i have this MASSIVE headache. So i call Jeff at work and im like "yeah...i dont think im gonna make it in...." but as get up and around i start feeling better, so i call him back like a half hour later and im like "im coming in...." i think i may have confused him.
ok so i get to work. i walk back into the walk in cooler, and i COMPLETELY wipe out. like i fall and i bust my ass. it was funny, but it also kinda hurt. eh, im over it. well then i accidentally knock over the bread bin, sending submarine bread everywhere. so as i'm leaving work, i realize, i have forgotten my non-work shoes to wear to class. so i try to haul ass home so i can make it back for my 2pm class.....doesn't happen. so i go to choir, and Natalie calls me out on something, and kind of embarrasses me....but like after it happened, like i couldn't stop thinking about it and it kept making me laugh. so i suppose it wasn't that bad. anywho i get home and i make plans to meet Cara at Barnes. well, my mom comes home and says "dont go anywhere...we have to talk..." which is NEVER good. so i get totally rheemed for like a half hour. so as im walking away from the verbal beating, Cara calls and informs me that she can't make it to Barnes tonight. So i sit in my room from like 9pm-2:00am writing my fucking research paper. this leads us to right now....i need sleep..9AM class tomorrow...damn
ok so im really hoping certain things in my life work out. that would make me very happy. if this certain thing would work out for me, like my life would be officially awsome. but i can see it totally not working out, in which case, i suppose i'll live.
ok so im reading Kensington's blog, and i run across this conversation she has posted on there that her and i had a while back....it cracked me up so im gonna repost it here...
Burgy1984: FINE!!! I KNOW WHEN IM NOT WANTED!
StageCharmer: good. i was afraid i'd have to send out a memo
Burgy1984: you will die of gonnorhea and rot in hell
StageCharmer: awesome
Burgy1984: only you wont have gotten it from wild monkey sex
Burgy1984: you'll get it from a toilet seat
StageCharmer: that's sick
Burgy1984: so what time is your assessment test tomorrow?
StageCharmer: its not tomorrow, ass
StageCharmer: its on tuesday
StageCharmer: that's why we don't have school that day
Burgy1984: thats what i mean
StageCharmer: um... 6, i think
Burgy1984: sorry...i knew what i meant
StageCharmer: i didn't
Burgy1984: i know, thats why i said im sorry
StageCharmer: i can't forgive you
Burgy1984: eh..your loss
StageCharmer: my gain
Burgy1984: if you say so
StageCharmer: i do
Burgy1984: then good fucking riddence
StageCharmer: FINE
StageCharmer: I'M DIVORCING YOU
Burgy1984: and you're still here
StageCharmer: only for the children
Burgy1984: take the little anklebiters and get the fuck out
StageCharmer: they're your children, you bastard!
Burgy1984: im giving them to you..merry fucking christmas
Burgy1984: you can have "daddy's little tax-deduction"
StageCharmer: that's it, i'm giong to my mother's house.... YOU BASTARD!
Burgy1984: aww...c'mon baby...i didn't mean it!
StageCharmer: NO. I'M GONE.
Burgy1984: ...i was just talking a big game in front of the guys
Burgy1984: i'll give you a back rub
Burgy1984: and then the sweet lovin' you've always wanted
StageCharmer: NO.
StageCharmer: it won't work this time
Burgy1984: i'll pay for your breast implants
Burgy1984: hell, you can take mine
Burgy1984: i didn't mean it baby...that was just the booze talking
StageCharmer: NO. you've abused me one too many times
Burgy1984: it wont happen again...im going into therepy
Burgy1984: i wanna be your lover baby
Burgy1984: you're all i need
Burgy1984: >to the tune of Layla by Eric Clapton< Kensington....ya got me on my knees Kensington...im begging darling please Kensington...
hahahah...wasn't that funny?? no?? well screw you then!! just kidding
ok well im going to bed now...but i leave you with this quote:
"I am a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class...especially since I rule...."
Some New Tsuris
2:31 AM
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
yeah, sorry about last night...deleted the whole blog i had written down....it was 3AM so i didn't want to have to deal with retyping it. so i am doing that pretty much tonight, with the addition of tonight.
ok so like i had the mose INCREDIBLE weekend. Max and I met Kensington and this new girl I didn't know named Cara at Barnes. we chill there for an hour or 2, and then we all caravan back to my crib and watched Chasing Amy. Then Sat., I worked from noon 'til 4, then Max, Lucas and I went and saw Matrix Revolutions. So as we're standing in line getting our drinks and snacks and such, my cell phone rings. I got all mad, because people I don't really want to talk to have been calling all night. so I look at the caller ID, and its Kensington. so I'm like, Oh cool!" and i pick it up. She wants to know what I'm up to, so I tell her what we're doing and that I'll call her after the movie. So we watch the movie, and it is in-fucking-credible. After the movie, I'm walking out all happy because I just watched a great movie. So I call Kensington, thinking its gonna be kinda late to do something, however she tells me that her and Cara are going to IHOP and wanted to know if we would like to join them in the festivites. So we're agree to meet them, and we, once again, have one hell of a time. So after IHOP, we all drive across the street to Walmart and participate in mischievous debauchery, i.e. setting off all the talking Care Bears at one time. We have a total blast, so we decide to go back to my crib again, and watch movies. Cara, unfortunately couldn't attend, so it was Lucas, Max, Kensi and I. We have a grand ol' time at my place and all is well. So then Sun. rolls around. I didn't work on Sun., so like i just sat around the house for a few hours, then i give my room a much needed cleaning (it took me like an hour to clean it...ugh..). So then Max comes over, and we go to the mall to get him some clothes, because im his hetero fashion designer.
So after all that madness, I come home and get online. Cara is online...so we talk...at great lengths....for several hours. And like we talked about EVERYTHING. after Cara got offline at about 1ish, I IMed Kensington and was like "ok Cara is now at the top of the 'People Who Rock My Fucking Socks Off' list" because, well Cara rocks my fucking socks. Like it is so refreshing to meet someone who understands me. Like with the exception of politics, she is totally into everything that I'm into. She understood my obscure references, she laughed at my terrible jokes, she sympathized with my past relationship blunders. All around a great kid, whom I now love to death.
Tonight reaffirmed my suspicions of her amazingness. Like the USI musical had their preview tonight, and I was debating on wheter or not to go. Kensi wanted me to go, but I was kinda tired, so I just went home. So I get home, and like Cara calls my cell just as I'm walking in the door. She tells me that she doesn't know where the USI theater is, and that her car isn't going to make it all the way out to USI. So she begs me (not really begs, more like asks me very nicely) so meet her at Barnes and give her a ride to USI. So, me being the sucker that I am, agree to do so. So I pick her up and we have good conversation on the way there. Hell, i turned off the radio to talk to her....that hardly ever happens (so if you're reading this Cara, you should feel special about that...the music is usually blasting). So we watched the USI musical, which was amazingly incredible...I recommend you go see it if you can. Anywho, so like after the musical, we're talking some more, waiting for Kensi to get out. We then caravan back to, surprise surprise, my house to watch movies. Had a swell time tonight.
Can I get a ya for no class tomorrow? God Bless Assesment Day!!!!
Ugh, lots on my mind... can't really talk about it right now, but hopefully as things unfold, I can tell ya more. If ya know me, you probably have at least a hint as to what its about. ok well im out for now, might post again later
I will leave you with this quote:
"This life...why do I have this life? I'm stuck in this pit, working for slave wages, working on my day off; the goddamn steel shutters are closed; I deal with every backward-ass fuck on the planet; I smell like shoe polish; My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy; and my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks. My life's in the shitter right now, and if you don't mind I'd like to stew a bit"
-or-
"You get me slapped with a fine; you argue with the customers, then I have to patch everything up; you get us thrown out of a funeral by violating a corpse; and then to top it all off, you ruin my relationship! I mean, what's your encore? Do you anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?
Night all
Some New Tsuris
1:29 AM
Monday, November 10, 2003
ok, i had intended to blog for night, and I did, but then i accidentally ERASED IT ALL!! since its 3AM now, i will be reposting the blog tomorrow...sorry for this inconvenience...
-Burgdorf-
Some New Tsuris
2:51 AM
Saturday, November 08, 2003
>SIGH< wow it has been one hell of a week...
ok first the bad:
I totally spent like 6 hours on this research paper, then i find out i did the whole thing on the wrong topic. i was so fucking mad...but i dont have to turn it in until next Thurs. so i have time..
I've had little to no sleep the past week....SOOOOOOO tired
I have no money
My brother took my guitar cable to campus ministry, left it there, now i can't play bass until i get it back
Found out that one of my friends has been talking MAJOR shit about me...thats not fun...Max and I are totally pissed and like we're ready to kick this fucker in the shins...
ok so in unison, let's all say it...Tuh-Rash!!!
now onto the good:
I'm really starting to open up to people, especially the people in choir....they are such a great group of people, with the exception of a couple people...some of my new-found buddies: Rachael, Jenny, Laura, Cade, dont know her name yet...the Mater Dei chick, Dustin, Aeres, Amy, Sarah,Lynn...and im still down with the same ol' gang...Jeanine, Kensington, Lucas, John, Natalie, Heidi, Stump....Love y'all, you're awsome
We had our first couple Madrigal practices...I am SOOOOO excited about it. Kensington and John are SOOOOOO funny, though sometimes John needs a heavy dose of sedatives...we've decided that i'm going to be King Henry the Gay. I'm going to have a gay lithp ("lisp" for those a bit slow on the uptake). I'm gonna have so much fun with these people.
Jeni called the other night all sad....and we had SUUUUUCH a good talk. I love her soooo much...she's just so amazing, and she doesn't know it. Like if I could even begin to scratch the surface of how much I respect, admire and love her...but I can't...words can't really do it justice. Poor kid just has to find her nitch...I wish there was something that I could do, because angels like her don't deserve to suffer. But she's coming back 2nd semester, and all will be well. This = happy Burgdorf =u)
Tonight, Max and I went to Barnes and met up with Kensington and her friend Cara. It was SOOOOOOOOOO much fun...we talked and played cards and such at Barnes, then came back to my crib and watched Chasing Amy...then we like looked at funny stuff online. Its funny though because like they were saying how like Kensington:Cara :: Burgdorf:Max...like we are their Bizzaro-world, male counterparts. That kinda makes me chuckle, 'cause I can see it.
well i think thats all i got tonight..but i leave you with this quote from "Empire Records"--
Lucas: "Joe, I can catagorically tell you...you are not a bigger banana head...."
Some New Tsuris
1:33 AM
Monday, November 03, 2003
Me (I stole this from Julie's Blog...hope ya don't mind babe..)
LAYER ONE: On The Outside
Name: Nathan Joseph Burgdorf
Birth date: July 6, 1984
Birthplace: Valparaiso, IIN
Current Location: Evansville, IN
Eye Color: blue on the outside, yellow in the middle, so they look green
Hair Color: lightish brown
Height: 6'0
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
LAYER TWO: On The Inside
Your heritage: German-Irish
Shoes you wore today: im a lazy bum so I haven't worn any shoes yet today...i will be wearing my Adidas though
Your weakness: my desire to be liked; also im a huge procrastinator
Your fears: Failure, rejection, large bugs, making an ass out of myself
Your perfect pizza: everything but anchovies, pineapple, olives and light on the mushrooms
Goal you'd like to achieve: I'd like to graduate with some sort of music degree, get married, have a great job in music.
LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your most overused phrase on AIM: lol..people say that, and you know for a fact that they really aren't laughing out loud....buch of dirty liars.. ;u)
Your thoughts first waking up: I am sooo calling in sick to work today...
Your best physical feature: my smile, and my eyes...my hair when i dont have the white afro-mullet thing going on...
Your bedtime: when everything is done...
Your most missed memory: Jarboe's party-barn parties, Copa, Denny's with the gang...
LAYER FOUR: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Coke or Diet Pepsi
Mc Donald's or Burger King: Burger King
Single or group dates: depends...I think a single date is the best way to get to know someone, but group dates help make the atmosphere a bit more comfortable
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I dont like tea..
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: Barnes white chocolate mocha, but Denny's coffee-black, no sugar
LAYER FIVE: Do You?
Smoke: No
Cuss: like a f*ckin' sailor...
Sing: all the time
Take a shower everyday: unless circumstances prevent me from doing so...
Have a crush(es): eh kinda, not really...
Think you've been in love: define what you mean by love...
Like(d) high school: I loved senior year..and i loved high school theater
Want to get married: of course
Believe in yourself: i try to
Get motion sickness: very rarely
Think you're attractive: i think im charming...i know im not the most physically appealing person in the world though..
Think you're a health freak: yes, in between my Double Whopper and my liter of cola, i often wonder how the hole in the ozone layer is affecting my health...
Get along with your parents: as much as most college students living at home do
Like thunderstorms: one of my favorite occurences in nature
Play an instrument: I've played bass guitar for about 5 years, and im learning piano...and I've been teaching myself guitar...im willing to give any instrument a try
LAYER SIX: In the past month...
Drank alcohol: ummm..yeah.....
Smoked: nope
Done a drug: apart from Darvocet to help me sleep, no
Made Out: stop making me depressed.....
Gone on a date: Not so much
Gone to the mall?: Yep
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope
Eaten sushi: i have never had sushi
Been on stage: heck yeah, Chamber Choir represent
Been dumped: no see you have to be dating someone to get dumped...
Gone skating: you couldn't pay my ass to get on skates
Gone skinny dipping: No one wants to see that...
Dyed your hair: well i put a reddish tint to it...im gonna do it again i think...
Stolen anything: i steal food from Fazoli's all the time, but they let me so its not really stealing...
LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yeah...
If so, was it mixed company: Yep
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: I was still walking around...so no
Been caught "doing something": only with your mother...
Been called a tease: nope
Gotten beaten up: i have 2 older brothers, what do you think....
Shoplifted: when i was little...i didn't know any better...
LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older
Age you hope to be married: By 30
Numbers and Names of Children: 2 kids... a boy- William Joel or Marcus Elton and a girl- haven't thought of a good name..
How do you want to die: something sudden and painless... that way i wont have to worry about it...
What do you want to be when you grow up: I want to be a performer and/or a musician...preferrably on Broadway
What country would you most like to visit: Ireland...and guess where im going this summer..WHOOOOOO!! also Italy
LAYER NINE: In a girl
Best eye color?: green or bue
Best hair color?: brownish redish color
Short or long hair: looooong
Height: umm...average height for a girl....height doesn't matter to me
Best articles of clothing: non-turtle neck sweaters, or like something nice, but not too formal
Best first date location: either Barnes or dinner and a movie or a show or something...
LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...
Number of drugs taken illegally: again with the taking Darvocet that was not prescribed to me... a few
Number of people I could trust with my life: a few...you know who you are
Number of CDs that I own: oh Jesus, i dont know....i have 2 CD wallets full...at least 200 if not more
Number of piercings: 0
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the Newspaper?: i dunno...
Number of scars on my body: Operational- 4..well one of them is a three parter (chest tubes) other: 2
Number of things in my past that I regret: lets not rehash bad memories...
Some New Tsuris
12:23 PM
